Worse ? Mediocre. Possibly Electable.

Gavin Newsom 2024? Hear me out… WTF, how bad can it get?

Given that the Presidential 2024 Election will be a cynical race to the bottom only rivaled by “The Bachelorette”, Season 5, and “The Bachelor”, Season 7 respectively, as well as “Survivor”, Season 19, and that Biden is so old, so unpopular and will running against a herd of QAnon True Believer Government Coup Fanboys formerly known as the Republican Party, maybe thinking like a Republican about possible Democrat candidates makes sense. Old standards have long gone the way of the doo doo bird. Win the race for the bottom!

The Dems have zero bench strength for even a designated batter in 2024. Harris? No. Sanders? Please no. Klobuchar? No. Warren? Of course not. Abrams? Interesting potential but no. Booker? We don’t need to hear the positive evangelical message of hope. No. Buttigieg? No. Pritzker? No. Beto? Please. Agree? Agreed.

In short, the Dems are totally screwed.

Biden was elected to simply stabilize our inexorable and perhaps inevitable march towards fascism. He has never understood that he wasn’t elected to be FDR and do the New Deal 2.0. Dems will be running against people not only rabidly opposed to Biden’s AOC’s influence but who also live in the 4th. Dimension Matrix. Turns out there is no Fourth Dimension.

When losing elections, Dems always chant “when they go low, we go high!”? How about “when they go low, we go lower!”.

Enter Gavin Newsom. Here are the arguments pro and con for his candidacy, presented with the Pinot Grigio logic of one of the “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” had she belonged to a think tank on K Street.

Let’s vibe with current politics and therefore start with Newsom’s negatives.

Negatives:

• Has driven most Californians to leave the state due to high taxes. Some to Austin to create gridlock and high housing costs, the others to northern Idaho to start militias.

• Tone-deaf rich entitled white man who ate at French Laundry at the height of COVID when masked social distancing was a thing and California policy

• Made an entire state look like Skid Row

• Mismanaged $30 billion in pandemic funds and possible fraud

• Slow to roll out COVID vaccines (hey, he was busy at French Laundry)

• Ex-wife is the wacko Kimberly Guilfoyle and Don Jr.’s paramour

• Went to Santa Clara University known for its large student population of non-MENSA members but would attract Republican voters because of that

• Mismanaged forest fires, mudslides, and disasters

• Accepted campaign money from PG&E to help them beat liabilities

• Lost money selling his Marin County home for $5.7 M

• Wrote a semi-sincere book on reinventing government

• Naively believes we can have high-speed rail in the USA

Positives

• For starters, he is new, some. < See what I just did there?

• Not a Proud Boy and didn’t want to march on the Capitol on January 6th.

• Runs a state with a GDP of $3.4 trillion, making it, if it were a country, the 5th. largest economy in the world. As is, 15% of the US economy.

• Middle of the road and truly mediocre

• Closet vegetarian

• Comes from a state known for hallucinogens so well prepared for dealing with Republicans

• Not old, as I said, new, some.

• Great teeth and amazing hair

• Shows the passion and energy of a Beverly Hills PTA dad with ADHD and manages it with heavy doses of Adderal

• Survived a vote recall. Not as impressive as Trump beating 2 impeachments but good showing nevertheless

• Against police chokeholds

• Supports legal cannabis

• Denied Sirhan Sirhan parole

• Can play the JFK Irish Catholic card as well as get sympathy for being in a 12 Step program

• Suspended the death penalty

• Has dated Hollywood directors

• Given lip service to gun reforms like everyone else

• Known to call conservative judges “stone cold ideologues”

• Successful in starting wineries

There is more. But I think BOTH his Negatives and Positives, when combined as one list, make him the ideal candidate for the 2024 Presidential Election season.

Elect him before the Republicans grab him. How this goes down during primary season is grist for another mill.

Not my circus. Not my monkeys.